Friendship is a form of love—the most free and lasting, they say. It may have some ups and downs—like most of relationships—but time and distance will never prevail against this precious bond, right?
Well, as I write this sentence my mind is going back to all the friendships that ended in my life for the most different reasons: stupid little fights followed by pride; hurt feelings that you (or they) never wanted to talk about; others that just faded away—swallowed by the abovementioned time and distance (here we go).
Bonds are living creatures. They are just like plants: they may sprout naturally in the beginning, but if you don’t nurture them winter is going to take them away. Nothing thrives in your life if you don’t put some effort into it, and the same applies to friendship. But shouldn’t it come naturally? Shouldn’t it be something simple?
Personally, I don’t believe people are simple. I believe we are all made of several parts that most of times want different things. So no, to me friendship isn’t simple—as well as any form of love. Sometimes I need someone to open up to, others I just want to hang out and have fun. The truth is we all experience different types and levels of friendship. And it really depends on who we are relating with and what we expect from other people.
Ah! Expectations! You shouldn’t have any, they say. But how can you possibly trust someone without having expectations? I would rather say to not have unrealistic expectations, and honestly expecting a text reply is not one of them—especially from people who basically live on their phone.
So, what do you expect from your friends? I believe it’s an important thing to figure out.
Friendship according to Astrology
Everybody has their own idea about friendship, and that’s fine. There are indeed many ways to consider it. But now let’s have a closer look to what astrology has to say about this topic. To me, the most interesting aspect of it is that according to astrology the energy of friendship is based on freedom and equality (which fall under the eleventh house, strictly related to the sign of Aquarius).
This literally means that we can’t be friends if we are—somehow—forcing each other; nor if the relationship isn’t based on an equal exchange. And in my opinion, this is also what usually stresses out an actual friendship. Just think about how many times your friends’ expectations went against your personal sense of freedom (and vice versa); or when the relationship is unbalanced because “I’m the one who always has to call”. There can be no friendship without equal exchange.
This exchange can occur on many levels, but we can boil them down to four (the elements):
- Physical—Earth Element: “you can count on me”
- Emotional—Water Element: “I’m here for you”
- Mental—Air Element: “let’s have some fun”
- Spiritual—Fire Element: “we can evolve together”
Obviously these levels can intertwine—there is no strict rule. Through your Natal Chart we are also able to see what specific planetary energy is triggered in you when it comes to friendship.
In conclusion, here’s some tips:
- Be aware about what you expect from each one of your friends. In other words, pay attention on which level you are living the relationship: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.
- Are they living it on the same level? It can be frustrating if you are trying to confide (water) to a gossip (air), or rely (earth) on a fickle person (air). You both need to be on the same wavelength.
- Try to better understand how your friends are limiting your personal sense of freedom. This is perfectly normal to happen, especially in long-lasting friendships. Basically you need to be aware of your friends’ expectations and simply talk about it. Don’t let a simple misunderstanding ruin a special bond.
Have a good week
I consider myself a free researcher in western spiritual disciplines, in particular Rudolf Steiner’s Anthroposophy and the Neoplatonic Hermetic tradition. I have a three-year training in Astrology at the CIDA delegation of Trieste, the Italian Center for Astrological Disciplines. I graduated in Computer Engineering from the University of Trieste.